When you paint and build frames you end up using a lot of glue and tape. Rabbit skin glue for canvases, wood glue for frames, double sided tape for float frames, acid free tape for watercolors—they are all needed for putting it all together and keeping it there. Each sticky product is the right kind for the job.
My friend Harriet died on Saturday. She was 93. She and several other friends of mine worked at the same organization back in the 80s. We all moved onto separate lives and countries, but Harriet doggedly kept in touch with us all. She would round us up once or twice a year and we’d all have dinner in the Village in New York City. We would go to her apartment on 9th street—she always rented, never bought—a real old-fashioned New Yorker. She would serve our favorite cocktails and we would step out to her favorite Italian restaurant, Lanza’s on First Avenue.
It is very easy to lose touch with friends, no matter how much you love them. We all lead busy lives, have complicated family situations, have ups and downs in our careers. Visiting with Harriet was a fun and friendly escape from normal life. We all knew each other, we didn’t see each other very often, but we always welcomed each others’ familiar faces and long-term relationships, even if we did not see each other for months or years.
All of this was possible because Harriet made the effort. She announced her plans and we would fall gratefully in line. And it turns out we were not the only ones. She had several workplaces across her storied career, and she organized get-togethers for old friends from all of those periods in her life.
She was the glue that kept us all together. The right kind for the job.
It is so easy to take people for granted, to drift apart, especially in these locked down times. My advice to all and sundry, be the glue. Be the person that makes the effort to maintain relationships. Drop someone a line, have a quick video hello, when you say you’ll stay in touch, stay in touch. It is easier than ever before in the history of the world to communicate yet we are all in danger of disappearing into our own little bubbles. Be like Harriet.
Harriet my friend I love you. You are a true inspiration. You are deeply missed.